


Are you awake?

by JNS



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Literal Sleeping Together, Waverly is an overanalyser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 09:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12187221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JNS/pseuds/JNS
Summary: Waverly over thinks everything so what happens when she lays awake overanalysing her new relationship with Nicole?





	Are you awake?

**Author's Note:**

> This is set somewhere during s1, in my head it's before Willa has come back but it's not super plot specific so it could really go anywhere you like before s2.  
> *Very brief mention of Ward's violence/domestic violence.*

“Nicole, are you awake?” Waverly’s voice was barely above a whisper, she didn’t want to wake Nicole from her peaceful slumber, just check that she was actually still asleep. Waverly didn’t feel the usual tightening of arms around her or gentle mumble when she asked this question. She decided that Nicole was in fact asleep. She had something she wanted to say out loud, something she knew she needed to get out of her head and into the world but she wasn’t quite ready for Nicole to hear it. 

“I love you, Nicole….” This time her voice was even lower, deep rooted fear preventing her from saying these things while the woman wrapped around her was awake. Waverly’s main fear was that it would change the dynamic of their relationship. The day she told Champ she loved him he basically stopped making any effort whatsoever. Waverly knew Nicole was nothing like Champ but that didn’t get rid of years and years of feeling inadequate, feeling like she wasn’t enough for someone to keep showing that they loved her everyday…or in Champ’s case, once in a blue moon would have been better than what she actually got from him. A sloppy ‘I love you’ after sex but Waverly knew it wasn’t full of meaning, he simply loved the way Waverly’s body made _him_ feel and he thought that’s what she wanted to hear from him. He could have cared less that each time he said it, Waverly felt the words coming from his mouth hold less and less value. He never made Waverly feel it, feel that she was special to him and God did Nicole make her feel special, make her feel loved but what if that was simply because it was new and exciting. 

“Everyone I love hurts me…” From the moment Waverly admitted to herself that she had feelings for Nicole it scared her more than anything. More than Revenants, more than her pushed down memories of her drunken father beating on their Mama that reared their ugly head whenever she saw a man grip his wife’s arm a little too tight in Shorty’s when she wanted his drunken ass to come home, more than the thought that before she became the heir, Wynonna was never going to come back to Purgatory and she wasn’t ever going to see her again just like Mama. Then there were the people who's hurt was far less damaging but still stung, the so called friends who would whisper behind her back about the 'cursed Earps' or 'crazy Wynonna' and then act like Waverly didn't know. She knew one day her _smile and wave_ façade would falter and they would cast her out and in with the rest of her messed up family.

Waverly could feel the familiar sting in the corner of her eyes and she tried her hardest to push it away, she didn’t want to cry in Nicole’s arms while she slept. She had done that more times than she could count when she was with Champ, after Shorty died and all she wanted was sleep and to pretend that day hadn’t happened Champ guilt tripped her into sex. 

_I nearly died today, don’t you want to make me feel better?_

The memory made her feel sick, what about her need to feel better? When she knew he was asleep she pulled herself away from him and cried until no more tears could form.  
Deep down she knew things were different with Nicole, would always be different but what if she didn’t know Nicole as well as she thought she did? What if Waverly did something wrong and Nicole pulled away from her for good. They had slept in the same bed a number of times but they still hadn’t taken their relationship to the next level intimately. Waverly was sure that Nicole wanted to, craved to touch every inch of Waverly the same way that she did but taking things slow with Waverly was important to Nicole. Waverly wondered if it was because Nicole knew how Waverly felt about sex with Champ, that it was what their relationship had been based on and wanted Waverly to know that there was more to what they had together. She hoped this was true but Nicole had never verbalized it. All she had said was that she wanted Waverly to be comfortable, totally and completely ready before they went further. 

She felt ready, ready to give herself completely to this woman but she was terrified that she would she bad at it. Bad at making Nicole feel the way Waverly desperately wanted to make her feel, she knew Nicole was more experienced not just with women but sex in general. Waverly had been with Champ and no one else. She had nothing to compare him to and for a long time that felt significant. That changed when the burning need to simply kiss or touch Nicole came over her body after she first laid eyes on her. She had never experienced _want_ like that before, so full of desire it felt like she would rather die than go her life without experiencing it anywhere but in her thoughts or lonely nights in bed.  
When she finished with Champ and really started to think about Nicole, the way her skin would feel under her touch or the way Nicole could make her body sing, it petrified her that once again she would not be enough. 

The more Waverly overanalysed their relationship in her head as Nicole chest rose and fell beneath her, the more she realised that Nicole would never hurt her on purpose. She had already shown her more tenderness than anyone else in her life before. She realised that even the slightest touch from Waverly made Nicole’s skin break out in goose bumps, their kisses stole her breath just as much as it did to Waverly. Waverly may not have much experience but she felt like Nicole’s body was made for her to love, to please and to pleasure so when the time came it would come naturally and if it didn’t Nicole would be right there to guide her. Never judging or criticising, perhaps critiquing but only because she knows how much Waverly likes to learn new things. 

“I love you Nicole…so please just keep loving me.” Waverly pleaded quietly as she pulled herself closer into Nicole’s body and placed her hand onto her chest, over the steady beating heart. She thought she felt it quicken as she did so and a thumb rubbing into her forearm confirmed that Nicole may have been a little awake. Waverly held her breath, worried about how much Nicole had heard her say. 

“Forever baby...” Nicole voice was thick with sleep, she took the hand that had been gently rubbing Waverly’s arm and placed it to the side of Waverly’s cheek and continued the same soft motion with her thumb there. Waverly let her breathing go back to normal, relief that her words had been heard washed over her in a way she wasn’t expecting but she felt Nicole stiffen slightly. “For however long you want me to…” Nicole’s voice was impossibly gentle and a little shaky. Waverly could feel the same fear that coursed through her own body in that voice and she knew she should have told Nicole sooner and not while she thought Nicole was asleep. She knew she wasn't the only one with insecurities but Nicole hid it so well that sometimes she forgot, forgot she was only human. 

“Forever.” Waverly nodded her head before turning it into the hand still cupped around her cheek and placing a soft kiss to it. “I love you.” Another small peck and she buried into Nicole’s neck, content and ready to sleep again. Nicole moved both arms to their usual position round Waverly’s waist and sighed with relief, making sure they couldn’t possibly be any closer. 

“I love you too, Waverly.” Nicole moved her mouth to just beside Waverly’s ear, she wanted Waverly not only to hear her but feel the breath as it poured out the confession of devotion. Waverly felt it. She felt loved and safe in those arms. Nicole swore she could feel Waverly smile against her neck before she blissfully slipped back into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Super fluffy and not very long but it was nice to get into Waverly's head and insecurities a little more, I feel like I'm finding my way of writing these two and any comments/tips are welcomed! Thanks for reading


End file.
